Personal Development: How Relationships should add to you.

At the beginning of this year, folks made resolutions like they always do every end of the year. This action (resolution making) reflects a deep seated desire in every person; the desire for growth and development. Most individuals desire to grow and develop capacity, wit, ideas and resource. Sadly though, these guys sometimes never transform this desire into fruition. It starts and ends with desire alone. I must state clearly that desire alone does not make us advance in life. Our desires have to be transformed into actions, and actions have to be in the right directions for progress to be made. So many folks live passive lives, hoping that things will change and never really participating in their own growth. My thought is how did we grow and develop into adults? Did our parents actively feed us consciously or did they just leave us to happenstance? (If we happen to come across food fine, if we don't, fine). You can answer these questions for yourself.
 Growth and development only occurs when we actively make conscious efforts to invest in ourselves, in the area that we desire to grow. I have seen people who say they desire to grow in an area, or increase knowledge in another area, but never really take steps to start the process (begin to study something). You want to stop being sexually active and still you have porn on your external hard drive. How will that ever work?
 Furthermore, our relationships influence our growth and development in ways that we sometimes can't even imagine. For this reason, I wonder at the numerous young folks who make dating decisions without reaching an agreement on the "Rules of Engagement". Growth that cannot be measured clearly is no growth. There should be some yardsticks, parameters with which growth can be measured.
 Before you decide on whom to date, these are some things you should really sort out as an active part of development.
 1. Where is this relationship headed? What direction is this headed?
 2. In what ways will this relationship improve me as a person? What areas of my life do i want to be impacted by my relationship?
 These questions should at least get you started. You could develop parameters based on your unique situation.
 Trust me if you can't measure your development, then I can argue that no development has taken place. The sad thing is if you and I don't sort out these things, we may be hurt or be blessed, but that will mean that we took a gamble. Most of the time our gambles hurt more than it blesses. The guy or the girl you have decided to date has some serious influence on your personal development. Don't take it lightly. This is because you are connected to them emotionally and would most likely do what they say. Even if they don't have the resource you need in them, they could and should lead you to where you will find them. Has your relationship with that guy/girl really left you a better or a worse-off? Your personal development is greatly tied to the people you relate with.